Amy Jo Martin - New York Times Best Selling Author, Founder and CEO of Digital Royalty

Pays To Be Late

Imagine this. The next time you’re late to meet someone, you owe them money. But here’s the catch, the money doesn’t go in their pocket. The money goes to their favorite charity.

The other evening, my friend and I were scheduled to meet. (Side note, my friend is a busy guy, doing good things. He’s just happens to be the first victim of my idea. We’ve all been late before.) As I sat there with a few unexpected and unaccounted for minutes to spare I had this thought, which I tweeted:

No need for an IOU post-it note. Square to the rescue. The transaction can happen right then and there. Fair and square.

People have to pay the consequences of being late but this is a positive way to do so. It’s already happening with some service-based companies like doctor’s offices, salons, etc. How long will it be before we charge others when they’re late and work that into contracts.

As the leader of my company, I realize it’s important to set precedence but I also realize it can be hard to point out when a supervisor is late to a meeting. If a company adopts this concept and there’s a universal understanding that people will pay when they’re late, there’s no need to worry about that uncomfortable conversation.

How can you apply this to your life? Is this scalable? What if a large organization took a dollar out of your paycheck for each minute you were late and then they took five dollars for every minute after five minutes? Our time is valuable. It’s the most precious commodity anyone will ever have. When we waste our time on something, that’s unfortunate. Our loss. When we steal someone else’s time, that’s another story. We should treat our time as an asset.

Think of what you can accomplish in one minute. What about five or ten minutes? Better yet, think about what your favorite cause can do with some additional cash.

Sleep Your Way to the Top

When I was younger, my father would say to me, “Amy Jo, you can’t bank sleep.” Evidentially, I thought I could deposit and withdraw hours into my mystical sleep account as I wished. I’d save up on hours, by sleeping in some days, and then deplete the account time after time. Not a solid strategy.

In fact, it wasn’t until about 2012 that I really started to respect and value sleep. As an entrepreneur, I’d burn the midnight oil more nights than not, averaging 4-ish hours of sleep a night max. I was not aware of the repercussions and my poor family, friends and teammates had to deal with the result. Looking back, I know for a fact that I would have made some different (key) decisions under the influence of 8 hours of sleep versus 4 hours. I simply thought I could get more done while everyone else was sleeping so I could “get ahead” or simply “keep up”. HA.

Today, I finished Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In. Toward the end, she writes about sleep deprivation: “Sleeping for four or five hours a night induces mental impairment equivalent to a blood alcohol level above the legal driving limit.” This was a fact pulled from a Harvard Business Review article titled “Sleep Deficit: The Performance Killer”. Another resource is “Sleep Deprivation: Impact on Cognitive Performance” in the Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment publication. I could keep listing references but I’ll refrain.

To recap, scientists have proven that sleep deprivation is like being intoxicated. So basically, if you’re depriving yourself from sleep and then navigating through your day, you might as well be drunk? Yep. You’re making countless big and small decisions about your life and future while under the influence, without realizing. Not a good formula for success, whatever your version of success looks like.

Awhile back, I watched this TED Talk by Arianna Huff on the topic of sleep. I wish I would have woken up and watched a little earlier. As I write this post, I can only hope that someone who needs a few more zzzzz’s each night will wake up and get them — they can leapfrog my mistake and snag my tired lessons free of charge.

Crash and Learn: Invites Are For Losers

When was the last time you crashed something? No, not a car. When was the last time you showed up unannounced and uninvited to an event, party, concert or wedding?

So let’s break this down.

The definition of Crash: To enter or attend without invitation

The definition of Invitation: A written or verbal request inviting someone to go somewhere or to do something.

There’s a difference between acting like you belong and believing you belong. Similarly, there’s a line, sometimes fine and sometimes thick, between being cocky and being confident. Same goes with the line between fearless and reckless. There’s decent ROI in flirting with these lines a little more, or just color outside the lines. I’ve been known to fall into the cocky, reckless quicksand a few times, but one way or another I seem to make it out alive with solid lessons in tact:

Invite Yourself:

If we wait for an invitation to everything we want to do, it’s likely we’re going to wait forever because people are busy and inviting you to do something may not be on the top of their list. You might even be doing the ‘host’ a favor if you invite yourself, eh? Bottom-line is that we must create our opportunities versus wait for an invitation to take advantage of them. If you believe you belong, have you ever considered inviting yourself? You can trust someone will let you know if they feel strongly that you don’t belong. They’ll simply request that you make an exit.

Play the Domino Fear Game:

In the unlikely event you’re asked to exit, let’s think through the situation. I like to play the dominos game of “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” Ask yourself that question and then add, “Then what?” Continue to ask “Then what?” after each of your answers. Follow your fears all the way to the end. Ninety nine percent of the time that I play this game I find myself in some ridiculous made up situation where I have to live on my parent’s couch. Even then, that wouldn’t even be THAT bad because they have a pretty comfy couch and plenty of snacks. So what do you have to lose? A fellow crasher of mine ended up in shackles while working a Butterfinger event and he’s lived to tell about the sticky situation, in fact it has boosted his personal brand value.

Bring Your Value:

Ask yourself. Do I belong? Can I add value? If not, it’s like showing up to a party without a hostess gift. It’s not polite. Example: I was traveling for business and found myself working in the hotel lobby bar during the NCAA Final Four tournament. A lad who ditched his fellow groomsmen upstairs in the ballroom was also watching this same game. (You know this isn’t going to turn out well, right?) Anyway, he asked me if I’d come up to the wedding reception because he was bored. I declined, I had work to do and that sounded shady. After losing a bet to him on the outcome of the game, I found myself wearing jeans and a tank top on my way to the very formal Jewish wedding reception. However, I knew my value: Social photographer. Yep, I knew the best photo apps for color correcting, photo splits and live storytelling. I was happy to share my expertise as my gift to the bride and groom (who were complete strangers). What bride doesn’t want to share (pro-quality!) photos of herself on her wedding day having a blast with her new husband, family and best friends? Speaking of, we became fast friends (on Facebook).

Blend in like it’s your job.

Learn to strike up a conversation. This boils down to social skills, your attendance relies upon this very skill. Example: My friend Jason might as well be a professional crasher (among other things). The front row of a Jay-Z concert, back stage at a presidential inauguration and courtside seats at an NBA Finals game are just a few boxes he’s checked. There’s no room he doesn’t feel he can’t get himself into because he’s able to blend in and he truly believes there’s no situation that he doesn’t belong in.

Example: Last year, he found himself, without tickets, to the NBA Finals game sitting in David Stern’s seat. Incase you’re not an NBA fan; David Stern is the Commissioner of the NBA. The most “important” senior person in the NBA (technically). To add to this ‘win’ Jason wound up getting a meeting at the league office and if things net out as planned, he’ll soon be working with the NBA in some capacity. This reminds me of the time I crashed the NBA Tech Summit, which is when I met Baron Davis who became a good friend and investor of my company. Crash gone right.

Act like you belong and get where you need to be. Put yourself in the right position to create opportunities. Act like you belong and act like you are where you need to be, just bring your value in your back pocket.

How do you apply this to yourself? What’s something you really, really want to attend? It could be for the development of your career or for your ultimate entertainment. No answer is too far fetched. Shoot for the moon; if you fall short, you’ll land among the stars.

(Btw, I totally ripped that moon quote off from someone, just too lazy to Google the author. I do give them credit though!)

Lean In and Listen Louder

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” ~ Alice Walker

Until not too long ago, I ignored the women in business conversation because I simply didn’t understand why the problem existed. However, the topic kept coming up in interviews and at speaking engagements. Slowly, I’ve joined the conversation and shared my point of view from time to time.

After hearing about the amount of controversy Sheryl Sandberg’s new book, Lean In, received I decided to give it a spin. I’m halfway through. Sheryl is able to articulate some things I’ve been trying to put in words for quite awhile. She’s also able to provide a point of view and set of facts that I believe we all, men and women, need to be exposed to in order to close the large gap between the two genders in the workforce.

My purpose of this post is that it will hopefully serve as a catalyst for you to read or listen to the book, Lean In, so we can discuss when I finish reading the book. My takeaway thus far is that the discussion has to be started because the problem and solution isn’t as simple as I thought. As you can see from the photos above, it appears my copy of the book has wrestled with the highlighter graffiti monster. Thus far, here are just a few takeaways, stats and short excerpts from the book, Lean In:

Women only apply for open jobs if they think they meet 100% of the criteria listed. Men apply if they think they meet 60% of the requirements. Women need to shift from thinking, “I’m not ready to do that” to thinking “I want to do that – and I’ll learn by doing it.” (Hewlett Packard study)
Mark Zuckerberg to Sheryl Sandberg: “Your desire to be liked by everyone will hold you back. When you want to change things, you can’t please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress.”
64% of men at the level of vice president and above are hesitant to have a one-on-one meeting with a more junior woman due to the difference in gender and possibility of the situation being misinterpreted. (Harvard Business Review)
It’s wonderful when senior men mentor women. It’s even better when they champion and sponsor them. Any male leader who is serious about moving toward a more equal world can make this a priority and be a part of the solution.
It is easy to dislike senior women because there are so few. If women held 50% of the top jobs, it would just not be possible to dislike that many people.
The upside of painful knowledge is so much greater than the downside of blissful ignorance.
Over the past decade, childcare costs have risen twice as fast as the median income of families with children.
“If current trends continue, fifteen years from today, about one-third of the women in this audience will be working full-time and almost all of you will be working for the guy you are sitting next to.” Sheryl Sandberg quoted in a speech delivered to Harvard Business School in 2011
A truly equal world would be one where women ran half our countries and companies and men ran half our homes.

Please read Sheryl’s book. This issue transcends all of us. Conversation to be continued . . .

Eight Year Old Ethiopian Entrepreneur

As a child, I wanted to be an astronaut flower-delivery gymnast. At no point did I think about becoming an entrepreneur. In Africa last week, I encountered a true entrepreneur who has literally found his calling at quite a young age.

On day one of our journey in Ethiopia my charity: water/Soma crew and I were schooled on a few simple rules. One of which was: Do not give money away. Evidentially it could create a big debacle unless you have enough Birr (Ethiopian currency) to hand out to the entire country. I had even brought a few bars of Hershey’s chocolate to sneak to the kiddos but was thankfully warned that it’s not a good idea to give goodies out unless I had enough for EVERY one. In some cases we were visiting a few hundred kids in the village so needless to say I left Africa with my supply of Hershey’s. (Minus a bar or two in my belly.)

On day two, our crew arrived at a village and one Ethiopian boy greeted us separately from the rest of the group. As we all started walking toward the rest of the village together I could tell this eight-ish year old meant business. He clearly walked with an agenda. He proceeded to take a few goods out of his pocket and said to me, “Gimmie 15 Birr”. I looked at the product he was attempting to sell to me and it was like that moment many women describe when they spot Louboutins for the first time. That’s how I felt. I had to have this. It was something of value. At this point, ‘The Rules’ entered into my head. “Don’t give out any money.” I had a full on self-debate that this would be more of an exchange of value versus a donation. I once again struggled with the Rules. Yep. It seems to be an occupational hazard of mine.

The valuable good was a mobile phone made of stone with seeds as buttons. Quite durable, actually. (Except for the one missing button.)

Fast-forward a few hours and the same super hero entrepreneur appears again out of nowhere. He has the goods. I decided to ask forgiveness instead of permission and go ahead and buy the digital dinosaur phone. (The truth is, I consulted my fellow travel mate and he said he wanted to buy one as well. Safety shopping in numbers! Thank you, Justin!)

There was no bartering with this confident innovator. He knew he had value. He asked for 15 Birr, I said I’d give him 10 Birr. He told me he’d sell me the phone for 15 Birr and add in a rock seashell-looking thing. I said okay, you have a deal. I gave him 20 Birr and had planned to over-pay for the phone anyway as an attaboy nod to his hustle factor. This was my sly way of teaching him some negotiating skills, which he clearly didn’t need. The little boy lit up and flashed a smile full of humble pride. As I walked away with my new purchase, the little boy tapped me on the shoulder and gave me another seashell-rock looking thing. We both won.

The Do.

Imagine on your deathbed you were able to see two films of your life: One showed highlights of what you actually achieved. And then the other showed highlights of what you could have achieved with your ability, your talent, the opportunities that came your way etc.

It would probably bring you to tears to know what else you could have done. The heights you could have climbed. The people you could have met. The races you could have run. The ideas you could have made happen. The change you could have made.

If only when you had come to the edge, you hadn’t taken that step back to safety. If you had just kept going after failing that one time. If only you had believed in that crazy dumb idea enough to tell the world about it.

Yes, if only you hadn’t, well, played so damn small.

So that’s why The Do Lectures were started. To narrow the distance between the Two Films. The piece above was written by David Hieatt, co-founder of The Do Lectures.

The Do Lectures just took place on the sprawling coast of West Wales at a brilliant place called the fforest which I’m pretty sure Robin Hood should have lived in at one time. Imagine Coachella meets Learning. The lectures are held in a huge tipi and the delegates sleep in tents. For 72 hours 120 adults head into the woods, rain or shine, and camp under the stars, eat in the elegant mess hall. They learn by doing, developing solutions for real world problems sans sponsor logos, product pitches and the typical conference egos. This appears to be nature’s vacation spot. The attendees were split into groups and worked tirelessly, sometimes in the pub made of stone, to solve problems like the extinction of manufacturing, getting kids to play outdoors instead of playing video games and housing shortages. Everyone was granted the getaway green light to defect to different groups if they didn’t want to help solve the problem they were assigned to originally. At the end of The Do timeframe, each group presented their solution for a real world problem. Turns out, three of the seven groups were funded and one of them launched yesterday.

It’s safe to say The Do created Doers.

I was fortunate to be asked to deliver a Do Lecture which happened to be on the last day. After spending the first 48 humbling hours among nature and this group, I rethought my talk the night before. This wasn’t just about the tactical “how to” talk, this was about the process of choosing to “Do” versus talking and watching. Vulnerability is the new courage so I stepped up to the podium, which was literally a tree stump. If I’ve helped even one person under that tipi add something to their life’s highlight reel, then I’m a happy camper.

The Do Lectures are coming to the U.S. in September of this year. Check ‘em out. The camp leader of this event is a guy named Duke. You can fully expect a similar, yet warmer, scene at Do USA. As Duke says, “Our goal at DO is not to create magic, but rather our goal is to create the conditions for magic to happen. Quiet your cleverness. (and Just Do)” Kinda ironic coming from a humble, wise man who spent more than a decade at Nike? Nah.

Learning What Enough Looks Like

I just returned from a trip to Ethiopia with charity: water and Soma. As I sit down to recap my experience I realize I’m still processing my journey in Africa. I’ve humbly accepted that the processing portion of the experience will be just as intense as the actual experience itself. At times, it was difficult to absorb what I was witnessing first-hand and I felt numb to the emotion. In my 33 years, I’d never seen anything even close to this.

To set the stage a bit, it’s important to know that 80% of diseases across the world are caused by unclean water. More than 800 million people on this planet don’t have clean water, that’s 1 in 9 of us. After spending time with the villages that had new charity water wells, and with the villages who were soon going to get the charity water wells, the divide between the haves and the have-nots quickly became crystal clear.

The people in the villages that had clean water were visibly healthier, happier and more alive. A 76-year old village elder who had just gotten clean water in his village told us he never felt younger. This was a man who has lived 76 years with unclean water and competed with animals for the unclean water. He also said the children had much more energy now that they had access to clean water. As if they had a new lease on life. The villages were grateful beyond belief, they wanted to celebrate, give us gifts and share their precious food to show their gratitude toward charity: water.

The thing that I couldn’t get out of my mind was that this problem is solvable. I witnessed the solution being implemented and charity: water is proving this can be overcome. Why is this still such a huge issue? One village that we visited had gathered around a charity: water rig, which was drilling a well. As we sat there with the villagers the rig struck water and water proceeded to spray into the air. It was quite a moment. Another day, we witnessed the well diggers using dynamite, creating explosions in effort to get down to the clean water.

When you see a grown woman carrying her baby on the front of her and a heavy clay pot on her back to fetch unclean water from miles away, twice a day, you gain instant perspective and inertia. Powerful inertia to help. Imagine what those women could do with those hours of time if they had clean water nearby from a well. Imagine how everyone in the village would feel if they weren’t sick from the unclean water. I wish more people could experience what I did. I will continue to share stories so others can snag my lesson and inertia.

The children. The children were incredible and they were definitely a highlight. Many of these kids were quite unhealthy due to the lack of clean water yet they still managed to smile, laugh and carry on as kids do. As I played volleyball with the Ethiopian kids I now realize they gave me a distinct moment of clarity. Clean water and a ball to play with was more than enough. They didn’t have soft, comfortable beds, air conditioning, soda or video games but that didn’t matter. They had enough and they taught me that as soon as we realize what enough looks like, we become rich. Their rich, resilient spirit is contagious and I hope to help them spread their way of leading a rich life.

One day, my group and I celebrated a new well at a school in Tigray. Ethiopia. We brought the kids a soccer (football) ball as a gift and it was decided that the teachers and my group would face off in a game of soccer. I was the only woman on the soccer field and from a soccer-skill standpoint I had no business being out there. I tried to defend the local Ethiopian soccer rock stars only because I wanted the hundreds of kids on the sideline to see a female on the field playing with the boys.

One of my favorite things to do was take a photo of the kids and then show them the photo on my iPhone screen. Eventually we worked our way up to the art of the Selfie. After showing the kids their own reflection in the camera I realized many of them had never seen their own reflection before. I wonder what our lives would look like if we weren’t overexposed to our own reflection.

Long story short, the world appears quite differently through my new lens. A drink of clean water has never tasted so good and I appreciate being able to brush my teeth using water from the facet. The gain of this perspective is contagious and I’ll work daily to not lose sight of what enough looks like.

“As soon as we realize what enough looks like, we instantly become rich.” – Andy Middleton

Man in the Mirror – My Trip to Ethiopia

I got my tenth vaccine in three weeks today and I’m packing for my trip to Ethiopia with charity: water and Soma Water to meet the beneficiaries of clean water. More than 800 million people on the planet drink water that’s likely to make them sick. That’s 1 in 9 of us.

When I learned I’d be going on this trip I realized I knew very little about Ethiopia. As a kid, I didn’t even know if I’d ever see California, let alone this country in Africa. The first thing that popped into my mind was Michael Jackson’s song Man in the Mirror and the music video. Having never really put much thought into the true meaning of the song, For the first time, I read through the lyrics and listened louder. I realized how much more the already powerful message is.

As I try to figure out how to turn on my out of office auto email response for the first time in four years (cheers to Digital Royalty! We just celebrated our 4th b-day.), I realize I’m feeling anxious.

The anxiety has nothing to do with the (semi) digital detox I’m about to experience. It’s because I know I’m about to learn something epic about life, the world and the woman in the mirror (myself) but I’m not sure what that will be. It’s a new kind of unknown.

That said, I’d like company in this adventure and hopefully we can learn together. I’d love for you to join me and I’ll share as much as I can day-by-day, play-by-play (if the African Wi-Fi powers that be decide to play along. Otherwise, I’ll share when I return.) Follow along here on my blog as well as the #SomaThrive thread. You can also follow me on Twitter (and Vine), Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook.

It’s okay that we don’t know what the future holds. Maybe our true mission is to figure out more about the man in the mirror as the reflection changes.

Thank you to Soma Water and charity: water for allowing this trip to take place. This video explains more about the trip:

Social Media is Not Media, it’s Communication

What does the future of social media look like? As we look at different areas of social that Digital Royalty is involved in like corporate brands, universities, celebrities, and even kids, we realize that social media is not just marketing anymore. Social is a tech game-changer.

Educating Kids on Social Media

We all have a personal brand, whether we’re 5 or 50 years old. Nowadays, kids are exposed to technology from a very early age, and in the near future their digital footprint will have an impact on college admissions and job prospects. At Digital Royalty, we’re on a mission to help parents understand the value and purpose of their kids identifying and embracing their personal brand from a young age.

Pays To Be Late

Learning What Enough Looks Like

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